Every adoption story is different, and the happy ones don’t always make it to the blogosphere. Let’s face it: if you search the internet for stories from adult adoptees you’re going to get more than you may want — the good, the bad, and the ugly.
The Root Cause
If you scratch the surface a bit, you’ll find that the root cause of most of the ugliness out there is that one or both parties violated the other’s trust. Somebody lied, withheld important information, or went back on their word. Child-centered adoptions MUST be built on trust and honesty. Period. Be honest with the adoptive parents you have chosen. Be honest with your agency, or attorney, or social worker. Listen to your gut and demand honesty from them too.
If you scratch the surface a bit, the root cause of most of the ugliness out there is that one or both of the parties violated the other’s trust
Ensure a Healthy Adoption Story
There are many positive adoption stories out there, too. These stories usually involve open and honest relationships. Communication is key, even when it’s hard. Open up about fears, apprehensions, and concerns. It may be nerve-racking or feel unnatural at first, but it’ll pay off in the end.